Don’t Compromise – Take Turns
post # 91 — May 30, 2006 — a Careers, Client Relations post
As part of leading discussions on the keys to great business relationships, I often ask seminar participants what they think the keys to great relationships are in personal life.
Frequently, someone will say “Compromise” and I think this is dead wrong. Compromise means neither party gets what they want, and both sides end up unhappy.
Instead, the secret is “Take Turns!”
Some of the time, the focus is on one person, fulfilling their needs, and some of the time the focus is on the other person. This way, both sides experience the other party wholeheartedly paying attention to them, and doing things that they want.
The principle applies to business. Employees know that most of the time, the organization is going to be run for the benefit of the owners and the bosses. But if occasionally, just occasionally, the employees needs become front and center and receive true attention, the commitment to the relationship is strengthened.
Don’t pretend that my interests are always taken into account in your decisions – I know they are not. Don’t attempt to make small token gestures, giving me unsatisfying, tiny pieces of what I want.
Periodically, make me the focus and give me a major part of your attention – and I’ll hang in there through the rough spots of our relationship.
Taking turns doesn’t have to be an even-handed 50-50 proposition. I just need to know that you can be fair, equitable and just, and recognize that we both have to contribute to make this relationship work. And you do that when *I* get to be front-and-center. It’s not ALWAYS about what you want.